


Spells, Charms, and Butterbeer

by cellard00rs



Category: Buzzfeed Tasty: Eating Your Feed (Web Series), In Control with Kelsey (Web Series)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Dating, Deception, F/M, Fluff, Food, Harry Potter - Freeform, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 19:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19157341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cellard00rs/pseuds/cellard00rs
Summary: Andrew asks Kelsey to make an 'Eating Your Feed' video - but is that what he really meant to ask her?





	Spells, Charms, and Butterbeer

Kelsey is very focused on her editing, so it takes her awhile to notice. In fact, she _only_ notices because she finally draws back from her keyboard to grab her coffee cup and nearly jumps out of her skin when she notices a _hand_ near her cup.

An overly girlish shriek leaves her as she startles, one of her own hands pressing over her wildly beating heart. She sucks in a steady breath and then turns to face the owner of the hand near her coffee.

Andrew Ilnyckyj.

Apparently, he’s been leaning against her desk for some time or maybe only a few minutes or…or god knows what; but he looks at her, all patient grace, while she calms down from her freak out. She removes her headphones and continues to do her best to breathe, “Holy-! Cheese on a cracker! You scared me!”

His lips twitch, as if he’s fighting off a smile and ohhhh! She smacks out at him, “You shouldn’t creep up on people like that!”

“Um, you DO know that’s sort of my whole brand, right?”

 “‘WAS’, you moved on to truffles and gold, remember?”

He waves a hand at her, as if to push that thought away, “More Steven than me. _He’s_ the truffle guy.”

She hums, “But food though – you’re more food-oriented than creep-oriented. And frankly, I think that’s great.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I mean, _psh_ – you’re not creepy,” She hopes he takes this as a compliment, as this is how she intends it, but as she looks at him, she’s reminded that his face is pretty unreadable. His clear, hazel eyes giving a quick blink her only indication that he’s absorbed that piece of information and she shifts about in her seat.

Kelsey’s never had any problems with anyone she works with, but Andrew…it’s not a problem so much, as he…unsettles her. Not in a bad way! But in a way where she never quite knows where she stands with him. He’s like a living roller coaster. Dips and curves and ups and downs. Not any _down_ downs but…

…and she’s frustrating herself with all these babbling thoughts. Shaking her head to clear them, she asks, “Sooooo…what’s up?”

“Hmm?” he makes the questioning sound as if he wasn’t the one to approach her. She can’t help but laugh, “You came over to me, so I’m guessing you want to say something or ask something or-?”

The leading words seem to get him to where he needs to be, “Ah! Right! Okay, uh, so…yeah. I-I wanted to ask you something…”

But then he doesn’t ask. He just sort of trails off and looks at her and okay, she can see why the creep thing was once his brand. Or, maybe better to say, not ‘creep’ but awkward. Awkward about himself and awkward with the people around him and hey, if anyone gets awkward – it’s Kelsey. She does her best to make him feel more comfortable – smiling and giving a bit of a nod, bright blue eyes engaging.

Finally it seems to push him through whatever mental block he’s stumbling over, “Eating!”

The way he practically shouts it makes her laugh again and several heads turn towards them. Whether or not he notices, she’s not sure, but the outburst from his brain seems to have propelled him forward and fast, “Eating! Yeah, so, asking about…eating and-and you and _you_ eat and I, ah…”

She suddenly realizes he’s nervous. Why is Andrew, of all people, nervous? He’s usually comes across to her as the unflappable type. But he seems rather jittery now and then a thought occurs to her, “Um? Eating Your Feed?”

Andrew goes stock still and she decides to fill in the blanks again, “I know you were working on that at one point…”

Suddenly he snaps both his fingers and points to her, “Yes! Yes! T-that! Eating Your Feed! We’re-ah? Filming again?”

“Really?” she sounds as surprised as he did when he said it, but then confidence replaces the nervous energy he carries as his head bobs, “Yeah! Yup! It’s-it’s making a comeback. Or we’re-we’re trying to make one and, you know, you’re pretty popular and I’ve been on one of your vids so I was thinking you could be in one of my vids and we could-we could…”

Andrew’s eyes dart about and seem to zero in on something, “Harry Potter!”

Kelsey is brought up short by this odd turn of phrase when he points to one of the little knickknacks on her desk. It’s Harry on a broomstick and she holds it up inquiringly as he bobs his head once more, “Yup! Harry Potter. Eating your Feed, Harry Potter….what’s that drink they make?”

“Butterbeer?”

“Yes!” he says it with such enthusiasm she can only grin, “Yes! That one! We’ll-we’ll make that one.”

Her eyebrows knit together, “I thought you made things Adam challenged you to do from virial videos.”

He shrugs, “We can change up the format. No reason not to. Besides, I’m sure there are some virial videos somewhere of people making it.”

Kelsey chews over the idea and finds herself excited by the prospect of it, “Yeah, I mean – sure! Yeah! Why not? It’ll be fun, right?”

“Totally fun,” he sounds much more himself now, much more like the guy who knows everything and she’s always found that fascinating about him. His sort of ‘old man’ spirit, where it feels as if he’s done it all and seen it all. Laughing to herself she puts her little figurine back down, “Cool! Well, just e-mail me or come by again, keep me up to date on when we’ll start-”

“Friday,” he drops and it’s almost as if he didn’t mean to say that. But once the day is out, it’s there and she looks at him with some surprise, “ _This_ Friday?”

“We-we could do some recon,” Andrew presses a fist into his open palm, turns it as he (thinks) talks, “Go to Universal, try theirs…”

“Ohhhhh!” Kelsey draws out, excited by the prospect, “Yeah! Sounds great! I always love going to the park, so-!”

“So, cool! Settled! Friday!” he draws away, backing up stiffly, “See you then!”

“Ah, okay,” she chuckles at his actions, his whole general…Andrew-ness, “Cool! See you then!”

 

+

Andrew goes back to his desk and collapses.

Not just ‘sits down’ - _collapses_. He melts into his chair, arms hanging heavily over the sides as he groans to himself. Head tossed back over the headrest, eyes on the eggshell white ceiling of the Buzzfeed offices. Adam suddenly fills his view. The other man stands over him, a yogurt cup in hand. He spins his spoon around the little plastic container, voice quiet, “You ask her?”

Andrew doesn’t want to answer. He wants to die. Alone and in peace and in full shame. Instead he mutters, “Yeah. Sort of.”

Adam’s eyes narrow behind his glasses, “How do you ‘sort of’ ask someone out?”

“I asked her to make an ‘Eating Your Feed’ video.”

“Andrew…” Adam starts sagely and Andrew just closes his eyes because he _cannot_ keep looking up into THAT face. Adam continues despite Andrew’s inner turmoil, “…that’s not asking her out.”

“Yeah…” Andrew manages tiredly, one hand going to pinch the bridge of his nose, eyes screwing even more tightly closed.

“We’re not even making ‘Eating Your Feed’ anymore.”

“Yeah…yeah, I know…”

“Then how-?”

Andrew lowers his hand, opens his eyes, and hopes the glaring look he gives Adam scorches his stupid beard right off his stupid face, “I got nervous, alright?! I started to ask her and I just-?! I fucked it up. She was all…” he waves his hands about, “Kelsey and I got all stupid. I tried to ask her OUT to eat and it somehow became asked her out to make an ‘Eating Your Feed’ video.”

“Asked her to make the video where?”

“Universal. Harry Potter. Butterbeer,” Andrew says each word as if it has more weight than the last. As if each one will be immortalized on the tombstone that’s going to decorate his grave. Which it probably will. Fuck! The word leaves him both mentally and verbally. Adam, being Adam, is unfazed, “Girls like the truth, Andrew.”

“I am aware.”

“Are you?” Adam asks and oh, that patronizing, fatherly tone. Andrew wants to choke him out. Thank god Steven isn’t here, or this would be about a thousand times worse. Instead he lets out a hefty sigh, “Yes, Dad, I know all about honesty. And I’m going to give it to her. Just…can I tell her at the park?”

Adam looks disapproving, but Andrew explains, “Come on, if she wants to tell me to fuck off, at least she's at a happy place. She can ditch my ass outside and go-go on a Gryffindor or something.”

“ _Gryffindor_ is a house in Hogwarts, a _griffin_ is something she could ride.”

“Hogwarts is where they go to school, right? Not a place where they show off hogs with warts…”

“Funny,” Adam says in a voice that totally confirms it’s not, “Maybe open with that before you tell her about your treachery. Might soften the blow if she knows your humor sucks.”

“‘Treachery’? Really?”

A one shoulder shrug, “I know you like fancy word play.”

Andrew just waves another nonchalant hand and finally Adam leaves his field of vision. Still doesn’t change facts though. Jesus – why couldn’t he have just asked her out like a normal person? Instead of getting all caught up in his head…

He sits up and does his very best not to fold his arms on his desk and rest his head on them like a sullen, moody teen. He’s a grown man, for fuck’s sake. True, Kelsey makes him feel that same, uncoordinated uncertainty he felt in his youth, but that doesn’t mean he has to recapture every nuance of it. She’s a nice girl. A good and sweet one.

She reminds him of Steven in a lot of ways and hoo boy, is _that_ not a road he wants to walk down right now. His attraction to Kelsey is similar to his attraction to Steven, but each have their own clear distinctions. Steven made his choice. Andrew’s accepted that, he’s moved on. He’s swiped right on a lot of apps and gone on a lot of dates since then and Kelsey…or maybe better to say, _but_ Kelsey…

She kept coming to mind. Again and again and again. And then he’d been foolish enough to confess to Adam and now? Now, here he is…a treacherous jack ass with a not-really-date on Friday. Wonderful. Sitting up, he turns to his computer. He interlaces his fingers and stretches them out before shaking them out.

“Whelp,” he mutters under his breath, “In for a penny…”

Yes, he’s going to tell her the truth before they enter the park, but it doesn’t hurt to know a bit more about their pseudo-video’s subject. And with this in mind, he starts relentlessly attacking his keyboard, trying his best to pull up some info on Harry Potter and Butterbeer.

 

+

 

 “Oh my god, Andrew, hiiiiii!” Kelsey trills as she sees him walking across the Universal Lot towards her. They have yet to enter the park, but the music outside the gates already has her amped. It’s a gorgeous day and for some reason she is just finding herself beyond pumped.

Maybe it’s because the two of them have rarely spent any time outside of the office together. For some reason, she started thinking about how fun this could be. Andrew is surprisingly sweet and funny and she loves getting to know people better. Occasionally she’s been shy, but once she feels like she has a foot in the door, Kelsey always likes to crack it open just that bit wider.

Today is going to be the day – she can feel it! No more feeling off center around the guy, no more not being sure where his head is. Kelsey Impicciche is not a quitter and she’s going to solve the mystery of one Andrew Ilnyckyj!... _and_ she’s going to be drinking one of the best drinks in the world while doing it!

Buzzing from a high only life can truly bring, she finds herself jogging over towards him. Andrew, for his part, looks as unruffled as always. But there’s a smile playing around his lips and she feels giddy at the thought that she put it there, because, look…Andrew is good looking, okay?

She’s not _blind_. He has a bit of that boy-next-door vibe to him when he’s not coming across as an indecipherable curmudgeon and the smile he’s fighting off highlights that. Looking at him now she decides to make it her goal to get him to cut loose and, that in mind, loops her arm with his, “So nice to see you, love me a guy who is punc-tu-al!”

The last bit she sort of sing songs and he rolls his eyes, “Are you sure you don’t mean pun….ctual.”

“Oh no!” she bursts out with a sparkling laugh, “I forgot! You’re a puns guys! Is this what I’ve signed myself up for today? Puns and bad Dad jokes?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know all my Dad jokes are fantastic…” Andrew is definitely smiling now and what a sight it is! Kelsey feels a funny tremor where their arms are meeting and she’s a touchy feely person by nature once she gets to know you, but this? Yeah, maybe she moved a bit too fast. But, not wanting to come across as weird or affected, she pushes down the reaction, focusing fully on him, “What about the puns?”

“Listen, I promise not to…pun…ish you with them.”

She lets out an over enthusiastic groan, tossing her long blonde hair back and he is clearly fighting off a laugh this time. Smiling, laughing…Andrew should _not_ fight these things off! She shakes him some, “Come on, come on, come on! We’ve got buttery beer to taste!”

“Uhhhh, yeah, about that…” Andrew doesn’t move despite her rather animated tug and he looks a bit down about something. The smile and laugh are definitely gone from him now and she finds it just that little bit heart crushing. She almost had him! He was clearly having a good time, the veil dropping some, allowing her to see the real him only for him to put it back up.

Well nope, nope and triple nope! She’s not going to lose this chance, so she tugs him again, “Hey, no – you’re not backing out now! You signed up for the Kelsey experience and this is it!”

“…sooooo,” he draws out, eyeing her thoughtfully, “Bouncing and clean cut language?”

“Ah!” she lets out a breath of fake offense, “How dare you! I don’t bounce!”

He looks down to where their arms are looped and how she’s barely hanging on with her hyper movements and alright, she might bounce a _little_. Still, “And as for the language, _you_ grow up going to Catholic school. It’s hard for me to drop them expletives!”

His gaze grows even more scrutinizing, “Have you _ever_ dropped them expletives?”

Kelsey sticks her nose up, “I shall not dignify that with a response!”

“Take that as a ‘no’,” and Yay! The smile is back! Kelsey nudges him, “Tell you what, you go on a ride with me? A real scary one? You might find out.”

“Hmm,” he rubs at his chin, “Intriguing.”

“I know right! Now come onnnnn,” she starts tugging him again and he tries another abortive stop to the proceedings, but she’s relentless. Another trait she picked up from Catholic school and one she plans on using to her full advantage now.

 

+

 

He did his best.

He really did.

But Kelsey is just as undaunted as Steven. Once her mind is made up, she’s an unstoppable force and this unstoppable force is dragging him through Universal like he’s her favorite toy. Not that he minds. It’s actually rather nice to be on the arm of a pretty girl who chatters near non-stop to fill the silence. And then there’s the general euphoria she brings…she’s just…so upbeat.

Happy and smiling and a ball of sunshine who (despite her protests) bounces from place to place, pulling him into this shop and that to browse and to chat and then pushing him on to ride after ride and he’s not positive, but he honestly thinks she may have actually uttered _one_ curse during the Walking Dead attraction.

He is, in fact, grilling her on it, “Was it ‘fuck’.”

“No!” she gasps, horrified and man, is she fun to tease.

“Shit?”

“Uh uh.”

“Goddamn?”

The look she levels at him at this is priceless, “Sister Agatha would put a bar of soap in your mouth from that one, good sir.”

“Holy shit – did you really have to deal with a _Sister Agatha_?” he can’t help the chuckle, because that’s just how she is. Able to draw laughter from him and, what’s worse, multiply it as she adds sweetly, “No, it was a Sister Mary Francis,” she squints, “Or maybe it was a Theresa? Catherine? Deloris?”

On the last he completely looses it, “Sister Whoppi? Really?”

“Ah ha! You got my ‘Sister Act’ reference!” she pats one of his shoulders, “Good on you! Points for obscure 90s movie trivia! Oh, oh, oh! Points for Slytherin! Or are you a Ravenclaw? It’s so weird how those two houses are so similar in a lot of ways…”

The mention of Harry Potter finally reminds Andrew of what he was supposed to have told her at the gate, what he was supposed to have told her long before now. Goddammit (forgive me, Sister Whoppi), now he feels even more like a heel. He clears his throat, “Yeah, about that…”

“Wait, wait! Hold up a minute, because we are here and we’re up for our first taste!” Kelsey tugs him over towards a Butterbeer cart that is right before the entrance to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter part of the park. The line is surprisingly minimal and before he knows it, she’s shoving a frothy, frozen drink into his hands, “Decided to go with the cold option. If you want, we can try the others and get an idea of which one we should make for the vid.”

“Kelsey, look,” Andrew is done, he’s drawing the line in the sand. He’s going to tell her and he’s going to tell her _now_ – even if it means she might throw her butterbeer in his face, “We need to talk…”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah – no – over here, c’mon,” she takes his hand in hers and tugs him over towards some tables, where they can sit, “This’ll be the best place to talk and compare notes. I think this drink has some caramel-y kind of taste, I mean, I’m sure it has butterscotch extract and maybe some brown sugar and have you watched any other videos of people making it because I know you guys usually do that before-!”

“Kelsey, we’re not making the video,” he finally manages to cut through her excited chatter and she looks…stunned. Blue eyes all big, mouth slightly agape and she blinks as she sits, “I’m-? Sorry?” she shakes her head as if she’s misheard him, “I didn’t-? We’re not making the video?”

He heaves out a heavy sigh and sits across from her, ready for the fallout, “No.”

“Is…is it because-? I mean, I know when Buzzfeed made all those cuts and a lot of people were let go it-it looked like ‘Eating your Feed’ was done for, so when you asked me, I was hoping-?”

God, of course. She can’t even conceive of his being deceitful, “No, it’s not that. Look,” he runs a hand through his hair and does his best to meet her eyes but it’s…hard, he feels them dart about quite a bit as he confesses, “I…wanted to ask you out…”

She does that over exaggerated blink again. Mouth once more open. She truly is a Disney Princess come to life. He pushes himself onward, “…when I came over to you that day, that was the idea. To ask you out to dinner. But I got all…” he waves a hand around as if swatting at an errant fly, “…tongue-tied and stupid. So, I managed to get out ‘eating’ instead of something normal like, ‘Would you like to go out to eat with me’ and then you came up with the idea of the video and I just-? I ran with it. Like a total douche.”

Kelsey absorbs that and, since she has had yet to hit him, he finds the courage to continue, “I...,” he shrugs, feeling several levels of uncomfortable, “I wanted to spend time with you. Go out. On a date. And I was going to tell you the truth long before now, but I just…” his tone drops lower, “…didn’t.”

Her blinks have become rapid and he’s sure a hit is coming – verbal or physical or both – when she surprises him, “But…I thought you were with Steven?”

His head rears back some, “ _That’s_ what you’re worried about?”

“Well, yeah, I don’t like that we came here under false pretenses and I wish you’d told me beforehand or asked me out in proper fashion or whatever, but I mean…I assumed…” she looks at him with a knitted brow, “You and Steven aren’t-?”

“No,” he lets out a breath he’s been holding for a very, very long time, “We are not.”

“Oh.”

“…I mean,” he scratches behind his neck, “…it’s not like I didn’t _want_ to.”

“Oh!”

“But Steven wasn’t…” he stops scratching his neck and shrugs again as an answer. Kelsey nods as if she understands. Maybe she does. Steven’s move to New York was advertised as him wanting more experience, but everyone had found it a bit odd, a bit abrupt. With what he’s just said, he’s sure she’s filled in the blanks.

Her face gets so remorseful, “I’m sorry.”

He gives her a bittersweet smirk, “No, hey, I'm the one who's sorry. I'm the one who brought you here without telling you the real reason. You have nothing to be sorry for. And as for Steven, it’s not like I’m completely brokenhearted. I’ve been out since then and I, y’know, failed miserably at asking _you_ out, so-”

An abrupt laugh leaves her at that and some of her blonde hair has flown into her face. She tucks the strands behind one ear as she admits, “Yeah, yeah. I guess that’s true. And, might I add, now we know for _sure_ which House you are.”

At his no doubt nonplussed expression she explains, “ _Slytherin_. Obviously.”

“Wait, why ‘obviously’? Isn’t that the snake kid house?”

“Well, yeah, but they’re devious and sneaky and....”

“Okay,” he interrupts in defense of himself, “I might be a _little_ devious, but the raven house is the one with the smart kids and I like to think of myself as something of a brainiac.”

“A _true_ brainiac would’ve been smart enough to ask me out without falling all over himself,” she says smartly and he presses a hand to his heart, “Yeowch!”

At her giggle (and the fact she hasn’t decked him yet) he decides to take a chance, “Well then, would a second-rate brainiac in the snake kid house have a chance if he asked you out on a date?”

“The snake-?” she snorts, “It’s called _Slytherin_. Say it with me…”

“How about I say that spell that erases memories? I can erase the memory of how much I beefed it up the first time I asked you out. Or maybe use a charm. Charm you. What the hell is the difference between spells and charms anyway?”

“I think it’s-“ she starts, then stops and shakes her head, “We’re getting off track.”

“Yeah. Just a bit.”

An unbelievably adorable blush takes her cheeks as she looks down and says softly, “Um, you were asking me out…”

“I was,” he admits, “Or at least trying. But if you don’t want to answer right now, we can focus on the Harry Potter stuff. I can ask you which House you’re in and agree with you on the butterbeer taste, although I question whether or not it has actual butter in-?”

Kelsey sucks in a loud breath and then meets his eyes, “Yes.”

“…yes, you think it has butter in it?”

She laughs, “No. I mean, ‘yes’, I-I think I’d like to go on a date with you.”

“Um, okay. The ‘think’ in there has me kind of worried…”

“It’s just,” and as if she couldn’t get any more adorable, her nose twitches as she avoids his eyes again, “…I’ve also been out and it, ah, hasn’t gone swimmingly. I mean, it’s kind of a joke now. ‘The Single Girl plays Sims’…”

“Hey, I like those videos,” he defends, “And I don’t think of them or you as a joke. There’s some serious stuff going on there. Like Nya and Natalie’s whole vampire story line.”

She looks up with surprise, “You watched that?”

“How could I not? The drama with Caleb alone and I didn’t think I’d get behind Nya and Lilith as much as I have, but-“ his eyes are narrowed thoughtfully as he recalls the rich story line she’s been putting together when, in an unexpected turn, she surprises him with a near quiet, “Okay, let me just-try this,” and then the next thing he knows she has his face in both of her hands and her lips pressed to his.

And – wow.

Wow.

 _Wow_.

Kelsey’s hands are cool and soft, palms pressed to his cheeks and lips whisper soft but warm and…

His thoughts abandon him, a primal sort of instinct kicking in as he tugs her close, _hard_. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss, his own hands rising, fingers burying themselves in the golden bounty of her hair and Kelsey lets out a pleased hum at his actions. He sips at her, tastes her the same way he did the beer, but he drinks deeper, tip of his tongue lighting along her teeth, the roof of her mouth and then tangling, tumbling along hers as their bodies grow much, much closer and okay, this is a _kid’s_ park…

It seems like they realize it at the same moment as they break apart, the wet sound of their lips parting enough to make him shift in his seat, heat rising in his belly and life zipping beneath the fly of his jeans. Kelsey is not just blushing now, she’s got a full blown red flush and she's _gorgeous_. Her eyes sparking as she murmurs, “Yeah, no thinking. I definitely want to go on a date with you.”

“Good,” he manages, his voice rougher than he expects, “Good. Um, do-do you _always_ kiss people first to determine whether or not they’re dateable or-?”

“No, no, you’re special,” she confesses with a wicked smile, the tip of her tongue poking at her top lip playfully before she returns her attention back to her drink, “And for the record, I’m a Gryffindor.”

He looks up as if to show that he's mentally cataloging that, “Got it.”

“Also, you butt-er believe our next date will be at Disney.”

Andrew laughs, clapping, “Holy shit! A pun! Kelsey Impicciche – doing a pun!”

“Mm, well you know what they say – girls just want to have pun.”

“Oh ho my god,” Andrew lets out a rolling laugh that borders on a giggle and as he looks at her, he can’t help but think he _does_ know the difference between a spell and a charm. Because Kelsey? Kelsey has charm.

And he couldn’t be happier.


End file.
